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Monday, May 14, 2012

MD: To all The Mothers




The church I'm in has this 'tradition' of shaking hands at the end before we go separate ways. Usually we chat a little as we shake hands, greet, etc. Today I shook the hands of a church mate who was a mother but not quite. The daughter who goes with her was adopted, she and her husband's final resort of having a baby. She wasn't like the first mom I shook hands with who I greeted gleefully a happy mother's day. With her case I was in an awkward position I don't know how to address. I don't know what to say, I don't know if she saw the panic in my eyes.

 I've had a boss and this new boss on separate companies that was not as well blessed with kids. Both of them are really able financially but none of them were ever successful. If this is an 'omen' for my own fertility, I hope not. But realistically speaking, my chances are huge since my mom is the only one of the 3 children in the 'first' lolo who bore kids.

 I also knew a lot of old classmates who had kids even before their college diplomas. Some of them were even rumored to have had them even before highschool was over... And the rumors as to how they handled it are, in my opinion nothing to be proud of.

 I have a cousin (if you're paying attention, technically they're like step cousins-- my mamang remarried bore 4 more kids and out came our cousins) or cousins rather who grew up at the same time as we did, their 3rd way too young than my youngest sister yet they already each have kids of their own. I'm not saying that having kids is bad but having kids without knowing how to be responsible first, not even having a stable job (both you and your husband) is a big deal if you ask me. It will be hard to instill values on your kids when you've no idea what those are in the first place.

 Currently I have an officemate who was long married but still with no kids. They travelled to Taiwan for treatment, was in and out of the hospital frequently, all of this, just to conceive a baby. Her wife is now giving birth any time soon and I am genuinely happy for them. Officemates even nicknamed her as 'the million dollar (or peso) baby',

Going back to my dilemma on the intro, I always try to be sensible on what to say especially to people I am not that close too. I don't know if I offended her without greeting her on this day but it was in good faith I was worried she'd take as mocking. But you know what I think? She's already a mom to her child. And so are all women who due nature will not conceive. 

Happy mother's day to all of you too!

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